The Ecstasy by John Donne

Where, like a pillow on a bed
A pregnant bank swell'd up to rest
The violet's reclining head,
Sat we two, one another's best.
Our hands were firmly cemented
With a fast balm, which thence did spring;
Our eye-beams twisted, and did thread
Our eyes upon one double string;
So to'intergraft our hands, as yet
Was all the means to make us one,
And pictures in our eyes to get
Was all our propagation.
As 'twixt two equal armies fate
Suspends uncertain victory,
Our souls (which to advance their state
Were gone out) hung 'twixt her and me.
And whilst our souls negotiate there,
We like sepulchral statues lay;
All day, the same our postures were,
And we said nothing, all the day.
If any, so by love refin'd
That he soul's language understood,
And by good love were grown all mind,
Within convenient distance stood,
He (though he knew not which soul spoke,
Because both meant, both spoke the same)
Might thence a new concoction take
And part far purer than he came.
This ecstasy doth unperplex,
We said, and tell us what we love;
We see by this it was not sex,
We see we saw not what did move;
But as all several souls contain
Mixture of things, they know not what,
Love these mix'd souls doth mix again
And makes both one, each this and that.
A single violet transplant,
The strength, the colour, and the size,
(All which before was poor and scant)
Redoubles still, and multiplies.
When love with one another so
Interinanimates two souls,
That abler soul, which thence doth flow,
Defects of loneliness controls.
We then, who are this new soul, know
Of what we are compos'd and made,
For th' atomies of which we grow
Are souls. whom no change can invade.
But oh alas, so long, so far,
Our bodies why do we forbear?
They'are ours, though they'are not we; we are
The intelligences, they the spheres.
We owe them thanks, because they thus
Did us, to us, at first convey,
Yielded their senses' force to us,
Nor are dross to us, but allay.
On man heaven's influence works not so,
But that it first imprints the air;
So soul into the soul may flow,
Though it to body first repair.
As our blood labors to beget
Spirits, as like souls as it can,
Because such fingers need to knit
That subtle knot which makes us man,
So must pure lovers' souls descend
T' affections, and to faculties,
Which sense may reach and apprehend,
Else a great prince in prison lies.
To'our bodies turn we then, that so
Weak men on love reveal'd may look;
Love's mysteries in souls do grow,
But yet the body is his book.
And if some lover, such as we,
Have heard this dialogue of one,
Let him still mark us, he shall see
Small change, when we'are to bodies gone.

The grass is always greener on the other side Syndrome

That is what it is. A syndrome (- noun 1 a group of symptoms which consistently occur together. 2 a characteristic combinations of opinions, emotions, or behaviour. ORIGIN Greek sundromē, from dramein ‘to run’. How true can that be? ……… *psch* yeah, very true indeed.

It usually occurs in a group. Apparently it happened mostly in the masculine gender of the human race. I wonder why…? It seems like, if one of them in the group was infected, it intent to ‘consistently occur together’. In whatever reasons, ‘grass is always greener on the other side’ for the change to that new job, move to a new city, new place and replacing of new things (eg. furniture, cars, mobile phones and even partners).

It is a behaviour alright. Instead of trying harder, being satisfied, repair, working things out… it was better dramein, to run! The easiest way out of a complication, which in the first place caused by avoiding or ignoring the problem.

When I reread what I’ve just wrote here. It sounds like I’m attacking one gender. Well, I did state the word ‘mostly’ not ‘all’. The truth, in this time and century, there are some of the feminine gender would do the same thing too. When the going gets tough, they split! Reasons: they are the weaker gender and they need someone stronger to be there for them, to take care of them and to support them. Ok for this one I have to give an example. Scenario: Husband just lost his high paying job and is willing to work hard but they have to sacrifice the luxuries that they used to have. Bitchy wife, walks out the door, reasons being, she can’t live without some things that she’s used to (eg. spa, hairdresser, the weekends brunch at the private country club, exotic holidays, etc…). Apparently she already has a replacement, on the side for just in case.

Ok! Both genders are the same! My point is. Human beings will never be satisfied with what they have. The belief of better things to be found elsewhere sometimes does not make you happier. It happened to a wonderful fantastic friend of mine, I am truly proud and honored, to have such a friend. She had a fantastic job, good life and free to do as she pleases. Still she wants that dream job. In the end she got it. She’s in, she got her dream job! Things were going as planned! YEAY!!!!… We lost contact because she was really very busy. Today, after nearly a year, we got in touch with each other again. She told me she’s not happy... My heart went to her. After much thought, I asked her, ‘what were you doing last time that made you happy? Get me? Maybe you can do it again or look for something similar.’ She have not replied to me yet.

You can have that change and sometimes the ‘grass is greener’ and better. Just make sure that you investigate, research and ‘sleep on it’ before deciding the ultimatum. There will be no one to blame but your self when things go wrong or not the way you expected it to.

Appreciate and cherish what you have. Sure, you can have more or better things but remember some things won't lead to happiness or a clear conscience.

My Birthday Day (Supposed to be: Counting Down)

I've started off this post with these words ~ 'Its not about NYE as most of you will think.. It is about another year, another present becomes a past, memories, experiences. 11.25pm or 2325, in half an hour more, I will be turning 33. This year its going to be different. I am not out in any clubs or pubs to get intoxicated and make a fool of myself as the past few birthdays. My friends are coming over. My close, dearest friends. So this time, I am allowed to get intoxicated, make a fool of myself in anyway I want (except going skinny dipping infront of my sis and her bf), cry, laugh, play scrabble...' thats how far I get to type on the eve of my birthday. This was what actually happened;

I had the midnight countdown with Jacq (she's like a sister to me), a glass of vodka tonic. Only had a few sips and I don't want it anymore. Coffee next!!! Then came the text messages of well wishes from friends and family, everywhere. At 15mins to 0100, Julie, Didier and Aswad came over to my place to celebrate my birthday. We have drinks, snacks and watched VCD, The Weather Man (cool movie). Then a few rounds of Boggles (as usual in most word games, everyone were winners after I finished first ... heheheheee.. go ahead and hate me, you guys *winks*). Around 0230, Mave, Jacq's bf, came back from work and he is a really funny guy. All of us talked and laughed and joked and made fun of each other. It was fun! I love it! And the best thing is ~ I AM SOBER! Amazing!... Around 0330, we have MacDonald's. Yum! Yum! Lekker gud! The best supper I have ever had!!! (besides carrot cakes in Newton after partying at 0600.. Julie, I missed our carrot cakes supper!!). Julie, Didier and Aswad left around 0430 - 0500, when Julie just can't keep her eyes open anymore but she still have a big smile on her beautiful face. That leaves me, Jacq and Mave, still wide awake and hyper, soooooo.. we went for a swim in the pool. More laughters, making jokes, a few canonballs and chilling out at the pool. A wonderful start for my birth day!

This is for my friends who came to my place and for those who sent me text messages of birthday wishes! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I love all of you! Especially Jacq & Julie. I can never say enough thank yous and I do not know how to repay you two crazies for what you have done. You gals were there when I'm in need. Gave me advices and be there, no matter what my decisions were. Right or wrong, you gals are there in the background. You gals are nuts, man!!! Hahahahaaaaa!!!!! Oh yeah so am I.. Love you all!

This year I've learnt more of life and I know what really I want.....

TryOut

I am curious about this blogging craze that have been going on. I know it had been around for years, only now did it get my attention. A few of my friends have their own Blogs and websites. In a way, they were the cause that make me want to try my hand at this and give it a go.

I am not sure. Having a bit of doubts. By right I am a private person. I used to prefer writing in my diary or journal of all my experiences (and still do of certain really personal things, in detailed description) but now part of it, along with my thoughts, will be shared here. As far as I see, if my doings would cause no harm toward others, I will do as I pleased within limits. Whatever most people think of me is insignificant, except for those whom I love and cared for very much.

Most people that were considered really close to me, would only see a certain part of me. Never the whole me. Sometimes they would say what they think of me. They might be right, that is me... and not. I usually smile when they think, they know me thoroughly. I guessed everyone feel the same way as I do. Sounds frustrating. What are the chances of somone knowing another, who they truly are, to the tee?

It has become sort of a game to most people about finding out who the other person truly is. If you have guessed them correctly, it means that you are ... what does it mean? That you win? That you know the person much better than others? That you are the best at knowing people? That you are someone special? Or does it shows that you are not shallow? The very word (shallow) which alot of people would not want to be associated with. A few others would be the words like pretentious, superficial, materialistic, ditzy, selfish, self centered, dependant and demanding.

I guessed nobody will know anybody until we lived under the same roof.... Wrong! Even then there are still more things to know about the other person. People intend to change either to be better or worse. Just look around and when you thought you have pegged that close friend of yours, personality and character, a year later or a few months or weeks or days even (!), you will noticed there are changes in that person. Thats what makes LIFE so unpredictable and intriguing... Worth staying on this plain for the next 20 - 30 years... What is going to happen to my dear friends and family?